This article has a very specific focus. For a wide range of general resources and info see http://www.gendertalk.com/info/resource/support.shtml
Obviously a person who believes their physical gender does not match their "true" gender has a difficult problem.
Modern science, including psychiatry, has not been helpful to transgender people, even mutilating some as part of a cure. The central question in looking for an ideal solution is whether the conflict is psychological, (i.e., the result of social experience), or biological, (i.e., physical). This article will try to present a case for psychology being the key.
So long as a transgender person is clearly in a male or female body an ideal solution would involve a psychological identity that matched the birth gender. No person would argue with that. No person could genuinely say "I would rather have a surgeon change my body superficially, than find some insight that led to my identifying with my birth gender".
This is not meant to minimize the perception of the individual. A person has a certain gender identity for concrete reasons and if a person identifies with the gender opposite that of their physical body, that identity is as valid as any other identity a person has. Of course every person has countless identities, gender being only one, and in no individual on the planet does every psychological identity line up squarely with external realities.
Some people fixate strongly on their (psychological) gender, others don't.
There are a lot of people who are very concrete in their gender identities. These people fall largely into two categories, here they'll be called "loud" ones and "quiet" ones.
"Loud" masculine and "loud" feminine people are trying to find something through their gender. They may be reacting to influences from the past, maybe their gender was challenged so successfully in the past that they feel they must defend it to keep it. Or they could be a descendent or protege of such a person.
"Quiet" ones are also reactive in a way, but they are reacting to internal influences. A person has a physical attraction to a member of the opposite sex and the person develops a gender identity that derives entirely from being complementary (or opposite) the "other". There is no fetish involved, no social influence beyond the other person, no goal etc.
Here, psychologically, there has to be a distinction between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Despite endless political arguments by either side, there is obviously a qualitative difference in the attraction two homosexuals of the same gender feel and that of two heterosexuals of opposite gender. For this article, the assumption will be made that every individual has the potential to be either homosexual or heterosexual, depending on many variables.
(Article is not complete yet.) An interesting article about one individual can be read at http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/family/articles/2011/12/11/led_by_the_child_who_simply_knew/?page=9